The Story of My Life

Ok, so a few updates.

2008-10-20T15:39:00.000-07:00

Ok, so this post may seem kind of whiny, or just sad, but I'm honestly not trying to complain. And please, don't feel bad for me. I'm enjoying myself, lol.

Now that the warning is out of the way, let me tell you about what has been going on. I have been working non-stop since I got a job at BraVo's restuarant. I don't know if I mentioned that in my last blog or not. Anyway, about a month or two ago, I got my first waitressing job ever. I was really nervous about it, but it's turned out absolutely wonderful. I make a ton of money (I made around $80 in tips over the lunch shift today), it's not a difficult job at all, and I get to spend a lot of time with people and food. I love food, lol. So, I've been working non-stop, and that's a good thing.

A bad thing is I've been doing poorly in school. When I say poorly, I don't think it really gets the point across. Basically I haven't been to class since I started working. I found out that working, going to class, and having friends aren't something that you can do all at once. So, I decided to try all three and failed miserably. But I have figured out a way to get through this year without completely alienating myself from my family. I won't be able to pass classes this semester, but I will pay for the classes, withdraw, so the grades won't hurt my GPA, and then I'll go to basic training next semester. After I go to basic I won't have to worry about paying for classes, the army does that, and no one will know that I didn't pass this semester.

I also decided, that after I finish basic training, I'm going to go to school in Minneapolis instead of staying at South Dakota State. Not only will it be nice to be in a big city again, I'll also be away from my friends, so I won't have the temptation to shirk my responsibilities. Oh, and last but not least, my unit is in Minneapolis, so if I live there, I won't have to take a six hour road trip to get to my monthly training.

So, now that that's all decided, I just have to figure out what I want to study. That may take a while.

I'm also trying to find a place to live, and I'm also failing miserably at that. My best friend had invited me to stay on her couch until I was able to find a place, but nothing is available. I found a place to live, but I couldn't find any roommates that could stay with me. And after I gave up the search for roommates, I couldn't find a place that needed an extra person. So, I ended up staying on my friend's couch for around two months.

Well, I tried to stay with other friends as much as possible, so I wouldn't be dominating their couch for two months straight, so in actuality I probably stayed a total of one month. Well, one day I went inside to grab something and my friend tells me that her and her roommates talked it over and they wanted me to pay rent for the time I had spent there. I had already considered paying something because I was using their utilities and stuff, so I asked how much they wanted and she said $300. Now, this is a ridiculous amount because they only pay $200 a month, I had already helped them with the cable and internet bills, I had only stayed the night at the apartment for about a month, and I didn't have my own room or any privacy. If I'm going to pay as much as they pay a month, I had better have my own room that I can shut them out of whenever I want. It was completely ridiculous. And then she said she needed me out of the place by the 15th. So, I said forget it, I'm not paying anything and I'll get my stuff out of here tomorrow. I was so angry with her.

So, then we got in a fight over it and I no longer have a best friend. Well, I no longer have that best friend, anyway. The only thing that upsets me is that she can do math as well as I can. If I can figure out that $300 is ridiculous, so can she and she was trying to take advantage of the hospitality that she offered. She's supposed to be my best friend, she should be trying to stop people that want to take advantage of me, not trying to take advantage of me herself. So, at the moment, I'm living in my car. I actually enjoy it, lol. It's the most privacy I've had in the past 2 months, lol. Besides, I have plenty of blankets and if I get too cold, I can always turn the heater on for a little while. And I'm the only homeless person I know that makes a crap ton of money, lol. I think even if I do find a place anytime soon, I won't be able to move in because I'll have to move out at the end of this semester anyway. But like I said, it's actually kind of fun, so I'm not too worried about it. It's just like camping, except better. :P

Anyway, that's about it for news, so I had better get going.

Secret life of an American College Student

2008-09-06T11:26:00.000-07:00

Hey, y'all. So, I haven't written anything in a while. I've been kind of stressed trying to figure out my classes and everything. Apparently, deciding to enroll in classes the week before they start doesn't leave much choice in which classes are available. Especially since there are more freshman in attendance since... probably ever. They changed the day rooms (living rooms, basically) into four person dorms and they're even renting hotel rooms for students. And since I fall into the freshman category, that leaves my class options around slim to none. Plus, I haven't been able to meet with my admissions advisor. We're playing this annoying game of tag. We'll set up a time to meet and in the beginning, I had a hard time showing up, but for the past couple of times, it's been her that hasn't been there. I don't know if anyone knows how signing up for classes work, but I will tell you. At SDSU we go to a website called WebAdvisor and we sign up for our own classes, that way we can work out our own schedules without having to argue with anyone about it. Well, if all the classes are full, you're pretty much screwed, but that's where your advisor comes in. They can get you into classes that are full and approve you for classes that WebAdvisor doesn't. (If classes overlap by 10 minutes, or if you don't have all the prerequisites filled, for example.) Well, since all the classes I need to take are full, I need to meet with my advisor and since I haven't been able to meet with my advisor, I can't sign up for any classes. The last day of registration is the 11th, so I still have quite a bit of time, but I'd rather get it done as soon as possible instead of waiting till the last second.

My main problem is having to stick to the same 5 classes that I took last semester. I've been communicating with my advisor through email and she told me that I need to take the same 5 classes so I can get my GPA to an acceptable score. (Since I left school early last semester, all my classes went in as a failing grade, which means GPA = shit.) This is where it gets kind of messy. Since I still might be approved for a withdrawal from last semester, I may not have to worry about my GPA, but if I don't get approved for it, I need to bring my GPA up so I don't get put under academic suspension next semester. Which means they suspend me from taking classes for a year. Now, I can't get suspended from school since the only reason I'm not in basic training right now is because I'm supposed to be in school. What happens if I get suspended? I already have my ship date for basic... do they push it up? Do I get punished in the military for not doing well in school? I have no idea. That's a big scary thought that I don't want to deal with right now. (This reminds me, I need to talk about the army still! But I'll do it after this.)

More messiness... my best friend practically failed last semester as well. By all rights he should be under academic suspension right now, but he's not. They say he's not because he didn't take out any student loans. Well, I don't have any student loans, so can they really put me on academic suspension? Although, another problem is I need to take out student loans this year. One, because the army pays for previous student loans up to $20,000. Two, because I don't have any money to pay for classes. So, if I take out student loans, will they put me on academic suspension next semester?? Gah, it's so confusing. This is all why I need to talk to my advisor, but she's MIA and it's driving me crazy. It would be so much easier if I could take the classes that I need to retake next semester, but I don't know if I can because I don't know if they'll let me come back to school next semester.

An idea I had that brings me hope though, since the army pays back $20,000 in student loans, that'd be enough to pay for this year and pay back my big, scary debt. My mom thinks it's wrong of me to use it like that, but I signed my life away for 8 years, I think it's the least they can do. Also, I don't think they pay back any loans that you take out while you're in the army, just loans that you accrued before you joined. Since I'm only a "future soldier", as they put it, I can still take out loans and whatnot (they're not paying me or anything at the moment, so that's the reasoning). So, I basically need to use up this $20,000 before next year and that sounds like a damn good idea to me. But I need to talk to my recruiter about that and make sure I don't get stuck with even more debt than before. But, another problem with this, if I do take out a loan and get suspended next semester, I'm still screwed.

But that's really all I can say about school life (not to be confused with personal life, I have plenty I could talk about with that, lol), so I'll move on to the army. I went to MEPS in Sioux Falls where they gave me a physical and made me take an assessment called the ASVAB. I forget what it means, lol. I just know the b = battery. Well, good news about all of that. I passed the physical and I got the highest score possible on the ASVAB. The score is based on a percentage, so if you got a 47, you scored better than 47% of people that have taken that test. I got a 99%, meaning I scored better than 99% of the folks that have taken that test... ever, lol. I asked my recruiter what the scores meant, and he said anything above a 110 was amazing. My lowest score was 121 in Mechanics, lol. I think that was just luck, because I don't know anything about cars, so whatever. My recruiter was freaking out and everything and I don't think they would have let me leave that place without signing my contract, lol. I basically got to choose what job (MOS) I wanted. The jobs available to you are based on your scores on the ASVAB. Since I scored high in everything, I could have been a mechanic if I wanted. But, I chose to be a Human Intelligence Collector. Meaning, I'm in Military Intelligence. Lol :P The guy told me that after I got to E-5 (promotion level, which is a sergeant) I'd basically be a spy, lol. I'm pretty happy with it though. I'm an E-1 private and I make more money than an E-4 specialist. :)

I'm shipping to basic June 9, 2009. I'll go to AIT (which is specific MOS training) right after basic, and I'll be training for a total of 31 weeks. After that I'll go to two days a month and two weeks during the summer. My unit (two days a month) is in Minneapolis. That's only like a 3 hour drive from Brookings, which isn't bad considering every one of my other friends drive 3 hours to Pierre for drill. And Minneapolis is way better than Pierre, so I'm happy.

As for my personal life, there isn't much going on. Just partying, hanging out with friends, misinterpreting romantic signals, lol, you know, just being a college kid. :)

Update

2008-08-26T18:18:00.000-07:00

I'm starting a totally different post for this one. Even though it's still an update, like my previous post, I have a totally different tone and emotion right now and I wouldn't do the jaunty, cheerful mood of my previous post justice at the moment. So, this is probably going to be more of a depressing/ranting post and if that bothers you I suggest you move on. This is my blog, after all. ;)

To ruin the surprise from my last post, I decided to stay in South Dakota instead of going back to California with my car. My dad was planning on leaving before we had originally planned and I wasn't ready to leave my friends yet. My dad and I had dinner one night, we ended up talking about college, and I decided to take some more classes while I was here. After that decision, I was talking to my mother about finances and decided to find out how much debt I have and how much college was going to cost me so I could come up with a "plan of attack" for that bug-eyed monster. My debt isn't incredible, about $2,000 between two cards and then another card with around $8,000. So, $10,000 total, but in the grand scheme of things that shouldn't take too long to get rid of, as long as I play my cards right and be smart about it. Well, I allowed myself to get into a bit of a frenzy about that (talking to collectors and whatnot can get anybody worked up) and in my panic-induced stupor, I joined the army.

That is a big, scary list of chain reactions. I don't regret my decision to join the army... I have become less impressed with the list of benefits that they boast, but I don't regret my decision. I did just join the Reserves, so it's not like I'm going to be shipped off to Iraq (anytime soon, if ever) and I will learn a lot of skills and gain a lot of qualities that I didn't have before. Discipline, for example, and combatives, and weapons training, and countless other things they can teach you. On top of that, there is pay, they pay for college, and there are a million benefits after the army. Military discounts, health discounts, etc, etc.

The only problem with all of this is I still feel depressed. After I make a decision, whether it's the right one or not, I usually feel instantly relieved, and there isn't any relief this time. It makes me nervous, like I'm forgetting something important. It could possibly be because army or no army, there isn't any relief from the previous issues. Finances. My dad's bright idea to get my college bill paid of was to talk to my grandparents, which apparently meant, I was supposed to talk to my grandparents. That... that was probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. They gave me money when I first started as a gift, to help me with college expenses. Well, after I got sick and failed classes, I felt so ashamed of myself that I didn't want to tell them that I had failed, I didn't want them to be disappointed in me. Having to go back and apologize for that, still hear them be disappointed, and then ask for money about broke me.

So, that takes care of my previous college bill, but that doesn't do anything for this semester. I'll still have to pay for classes this semester. I'm hoping that the army will pay for them, but since I'm not going to basic training till next summer, I'm not sure if they will. It's something I'll have to talk about with the counselors. I'm going to Sioux Falls tomorrow to take the physical and the aptitude test. I've always done excellently on tests, so I'm not worried about that at all. But after that I'll hopefully be able to get some clearer answers on the college issue. I know they pay for it, either as a refund of student loans or a direct payment to the school, but I'm not sure how the situation will pan out for this year.

Then on top of the current college costs, I still have that 10 grand in debt wracking up interest. I'll get a job when I go back to Brookings, of course. So, if I apply all my earnings to that debt I should be able to take care of it pretty quickly. If I take part time classes and work full time... minimum wage is $6.50 (at the worst), so 6.50*40 = 260. Most places pay bi-weekly, so each paycheck would be $520, take out 60 for taxes and you have $480 every two weeks, or $960 a month. So, I could have that debt paid off in around 11 months just with a minimum wage job. Of course, that's not counting food and rent and whatnot, so I'm probably looking around two years, but that's not a big deal either. I think I can take out student loans while the army is paying for my tuition as well, so the army could, in theory, pay off that debt themselves. Forgive me if none of this paragraph makes sense. It's kind of how my thought process works, so I understand it, but you might not.

In conclusion, I suppose, I shouldn't freak myself out over this, but I've been ignoring it all for the past six months and it's all falling on me at once. I don't think it'll be a huge problem. Obviously, it'll be difficult to get it taken care of, but that's life. I can't expect something for nothing. The next thing I need to worry about is where the hell I'm gonna find a decent man! Lol, just kidding. Everyone knows I'm going to wind up an old and withered cat lady. ;)

South Dakota

2008-08-23T16:10:00.000-07:00

Alright everyone, so it's been FOREVER since I last wrote, or last did anything online, for that matter. I just wanted to give everyone a quick update to what's been going on.

I have officially made it to South Dakota. The trip went... swimmingly, minus a few minor occasions that I was fearful for my life, mainly on the small plane that flew into Pierre. South Dakota isn't big enough for a major airport (anywhere in the state, not just the capital city), so if you take a large plane (in the 747 area) you have to transfer to a smaller propeller plane from a larger airport, usually Denver.

The first incident was when we were taking off from Denver. Most of you who live in a rural area and have ever gotten bored driving will know what I'm talking about. I can't speak for anyone else, but I know when I get sick of driving and I'm trying to entertain myself, a lot of times I'll start weaving my car back and forth across my lane. Imagine a drunkard trying to walk a straight line. Well, as we were taking off the captain of the plane started to do something similar, only a lot more terrifying. I literally thought the plane was going to tip and we were going to go bouncing down the runway in a fiery mass of pain and suffering. o.0

The second and final incident was my own fault, I had fallen asleep and someone on the plane decided to sneeze as loud as humanly possible and I thought our engine exploded. But I figure that I'm allowed an instance of panic for all the bumps and jolts and turbulence that I ignored during the whole flight. Like I said though, overall, the trip was great. I didn't sit next to any freaks or geeks and the layover time was minuscule. I barely had time to make it down to the gate before we were boarding. On the last flight, I actually had the whole back seat to myself. And yes, little prop planes have backseats. They're like an extended car. They have two seats on each side for about 8 rows and the 9th row is a set of 3 seats all the way across. So, I took my seat belt off (shame!), stretched out, and passed out.

My visit so far has been amazing. So amazing in fact that I have some unexpected news, but I'll get to that in a minute. I'm actually going out for the night with a couple friends, so if I don't get to it before I leave you might have to wait for that news till tomorrow. Oh, the suspense! But back to my visit. I've managed to see a lot of my friends.

My best friend, Haylea, of course. I'm staying in her house at the moment. She left yesterday on vacation to Texas, so I'm pet sitting her cat and taking full advantage of her utilities, lol.
Derek and Liz, my best friends from high school. They recently got married, to each other, and they have a little boy named Atticus. I was supposed to be the Maid of Honor at the wedding, but due to my phone issues they couldn't get ahold of me in time... boo. But, we've been hanging out plenty since I've been back and we've all had a blast, so at least that's worked out.
My brother (in heart), Christopher. I don't know if I've mentioned it before on this blog or not, but I used to live with 5 fantastic men when I went to college in Brookings. Christopher was one of my roommates and we've upgraded to brother and sister level. Seriously, he's not even attracted to me anymore, lol. We've spent a ton of time together, so that's great. His girlfriend is actually visiting at the moment, but I love her too, so I don't mind. Although, he does get this weird compulsion to spend every second with her when she's here, but that happens to everyone, so I can't complain. It doesn't really matter to me either way because I love hanging out with both of them.
Tane and Tyson, my twins. Tane and Tyson were also roommates in my college days and I became really close friends with them as well. Not as well as Christopher and I, but decent. (By the way, Christopher goes by Mullett or Chris to his girlfriend and Christopher to me, lol) Tane and Tyson actually are identical twins, but they don't look much alike to me anymore. I've also become really good friends with Tane's girlfriend Kersi (and no, that's not a typo). She's a total sweetheart and I love her to death.
Brittany, or Hedman as everyone calls her, since I've already claimed the Brittany title. She had a baby recently. Zoe Alexandra, and I'm pissed at her because she stole my Alexandra name, lol. I'm just joking. The baby is adorable and I got to spend a lot of time with baby and momma yesterday. Brittany and I have been friends since Freshman year, so it was great to get to see her again.
I've also been able to hang out with the random handsome men that I've become mutual friends with through my roommates. Austin and Johnny mainly. Austin's family owns a restaurant out here (they serve the best steak... and I'm not joking... you think I'm biased, I'm not. Seriously the best steak... ever.) so we go out there to drink a lot. I'm not allowed to do that yet, so don't tell anyone. :)
I got to see my friends, Keely, Abby and my new friend Amber last night. We all went to dinner (Chinese, yum!) and then we went out to Cattleman's (the restaurant that Austin's family owns) and we had a blast. I'll have to tell you about it in a little bit. It's a bit intense... but what's youth without making a total fool of yourself a couple times? ;) This was the first time that I had been able to see those girls, so I was super excited to hang out with them.

(Just so everyone knows, you did have to wait another day, but since I didn't post the stupid thing till today, it doesn't make a lick of difference, lol!)

Alright, so I think that covers everyone that I've visited since I've been back. If I forgot anyone, I apologize. :) We've had some crazy times in the last few weeks, so I've got plenty to talk about. I'll start from the beginning. The first day back I got to see my beautiful new car and I hung out with Tane, Kersi, Christopher, Ashley and Amanda. Ashley and Amanda are Kersi's friends. I've gotten to spend quite a bit of time with Amanda, but I haven't seen Ashley since then. We played a rousing game of Uno. You think I'm joking, but this game was very intense! Chris, Tane and I ganged up on the girls and we were cheating and it was just too funny.

Update/Blog

2008-08-10T00:51:00.000-07:00

Ok, so first of all, I just hit myself on the head with a root beer bottle... It was awkward and I kind of feel like I was in a bar fight with myself, lol. I just wanted to make a quick post about what I've been doing, what I've got coming, and how I feel about it all. :)

So, the most important thing is I'm going to South Dakota for a week or two. I'm so excited about this. It'll be so nice to see my friends again. I've been super lonely ever since I moved because I haven't managed to meet anyone, so it'll be a relief to hang out with someone other than my dog for once, lol. I'm also super excited because I got a new car!! I don't really want to talk about it until I get it and I can show you guys some pictures and maybe a video or two. :D I think I'm going to call it Veronica. I named my other car Christine (and no, I haven't seen that movie and that isn't why I called her that. Although, I do think she was homicidal sometimes... she was always trying unbuckle my seatbelt, lol). I thought about calling my new one Danielle and Shelly, too. Anyone have any input? Veronica, Shelly, or Danielle? I like Veronica, but I'm still kind of undecided.

You may be wondering how those two events are related, well, my father got me the car. The difficult thing about that is my father is in South Dakota getting the house ready for renters at the moment. It works out for me because we never would have found that kind of car here, especially one that was in our price range. It also works out for me because I get to see my friends. It doesn't work for my parents too well because they have to pay for my plane ticket out there, lol.

So, that's what I have coming up. My plane leaves Monday at 2:30 and I'll land in South Dakota around 9. My best friend asked me if I would ride home with her if she stood in the airport with a sign that said "Bunny", lol. I told her she could call me whatever she wanted and I'd still make her take me into town, haha. I don't know the exact day I'll get back. My parents like to think that we'll leave South Dakota on the 15th, but my parents have a way of being overly optimistic. I think it's more likely that I'll end up spending two weeks down there. My father and I will drive back together. He'll be driving his truck and I'll be driving Veronica. We usually just drive straight through, but we might have to stop for a couple of hours to catch a nap or something.

Just so you guys can get an idea of how my priorities lie, the thing I'm most worried about is making some decent cds for the car ride back, lol! Really, it is pretty important. You have to have good music in order to stay awake. :P I think that's something I can do with my friends though. I'm so excited to see all of them. I'm going to take a crap ton of pictures and videos.

I've really been slacking on my youtube videos. I still have to make a thank you video for Lissa. I think I might end up sending her a little something just because I took so long. Maybe some samples of different tea. I think she'd like that. I hope I can make a video or two before I leave, but I'm not sure I'll be able to. If not, I'm sure I can make a couple when I get into town. It's not like they don't have internet access in South Dakota, lol.

So, I've decided I'm going to do a couple of things. First of all, I have decided that once I get a job, (which I'm hoping will be at the Wet Seal) I'm going to buy one clothing item or accessory (at the Wet Seal if I work there) and one item from the MAC store each paycheck. I'm very excited about that, lol. I decided this for two reasons.

Because I'm addicted to that kind of stuff and I HAVE to buy something all the time. And...
Because if I set a rule that I have to buy one thing from each paycheck then it will stop me from buying twenty things each paycheck, know what I mean?

The last thing I decided is that I'm going to start looking into taking classes at the community college. A friend of mine said that the CCs are actually pretty decent around here and some of them offer acting classes. I figure, hey, they're pretty cheap and training is training. Agents and Casting Directors don't know half the teachers that actors put on their resumes anyway. Why would they dispute the credit? Oh you took this class at a community college, that doesn't even count! Psh, that's not gonna happen. So, they're pretty cheap. About two hundred for the course. Which isn't bad considering the class I want to take is three hundred a month. :\

I washed all my brushes today. I'm gonna start packing up tomorrow. I'm gonna head to the airport around noon, which means I'm not going to have time to do anything before then unless I stay up all night, lol. I might decide what makeup I want to bring tonight, maybe I'll separate my clothes so I can get them all washed tomorrow. I'm not feeling very tired, so I'll probably be up all night again.

I think I'm going to do a post or two on Shakespeare. I bought his collected works the other day, so I think I might reviews/thoughts as I'm reading through them. I also had an idea the other day when I was talking to a voice actor friend of mine. He had asked me to write him a poem because he pulls his inspiration for voice acting from the same place that he pulls inspiration from his writing. I had an idea that I would write a poem after submersing myself in a role to see if the overall feel of the poem would be different depending on the disposition of the character. For example, if the character is in love, would I write a love poem? Or if the character is depressed, would I write something sad? Or if the character feels she's on top of the world, would I write a happy poem? Get it? I'm interested to see if it will actually be that way, or if I'll still write the same old depressing things that I normally write. I usually write based on how I'm feeling at the moment, so the point of the exercise is to see if I can really submerse myself into a character or not.

Anyway, I'm going to go through my makeup now and see what I might bring. I'll talk to you guys later!

Democrat?

2008-08-09T08:02:00.000-07:00

So, I've been doing some research on politics. I was talking with a friend and I realized how completely ignorant I was in the subject, and you all know how that bothers me. ;) With that in mind, I decided to rethink my political standing and make my own educated decision about which party I should belong to. I'm going to talk about the stuff that I've learned about the Democratic party.

Starting with a little history, the Democratic party traces its roots back to the Democratic-Republican party founded in 1792 by Thomas Jefferson, James Madison and other influential oppenents of the federalists. The Republicans divided from this party in 1912 and since then Democrats have consistently positioned themselves to the "left" of the Republican party in economic and social matters. When I say they positioned themselves to the left on political matters, they often took a more liberal view than Republicans. In simplification, left = liberal and right = conservative.

A brief definition of the liberal view is to seek for expanded personal liberties whereas the conservative view seeks to preserve traditions and long-held beliefs. Now, these are very simple definitions and each view has much more behind it than that, but I'll talk about that in a different post.

Most of the Democratic agenda is influenced by Franklin D Roosevelt's activist philosophies, which also has helped shaped American liberalism since 1932. The civil rights movement of the 60's has continued to inspire the Democratic party's liberal principles.

Now, the political stance is very complicated for both parties. Since the founding of the party, Democrats have opposed unregulated business and finance and have favored progressive income taxes in order to play a role in alleviating poverty and social injustice. The party once was dominated by unionized labor and the working class, so this view point helps those without a steady or regular income while possibly hurting those with higher wages. This could also be looked at with a Robin Hood theme, take from the rich and give to the poor. Perhaps it's just me and my cynical nature, but this also seems like the perfect scheme for a little bit to get lost here and there on the way to those who need it.

One thought I had while researching the Democratic party is that this could be considered the "poor man's" political party. Seeing that the party was once dominated by laborers and minorities, it could have been more fashionable to be a Republican. That's not the case anymore, educated professionals now make up a large part of the parties registered voters, but that may have been one reason I was brought up to be a Republican. Now, I have nothing against minorities or blue-collars, my dad has been a physical laborer all his life, but my grandparents are very much elitists and as much as it pains me to say, they are a little bit racist as well. Which might provide one reason for my previous politcal standing.

After some more silent banter with myself, I had the further thought about the current demographic of democrats. If the main political view is alleviating poverty and social injustice, why do educated professionals still support this political party? I've never seen an educated professional care for the poor and they complain about taxes just as much as the rest of us. Why would they support progressive taxation? Usually the only rich people that care for others are actors! So, perhaps progressive taxation is no longer the top of their list... I suppose a little more research will reveal that. Perhaps it's simply because the Democratic party supports individual liberties and taxation isn't a large enough issue to turn to the close-minded Republicans...

Alright, so a few things that are on the Democratic agenda (or so they claim).

Honest and Open Government - Ethics reform and campaign financial reform that protects our rights and ensures that elected officials act ethically.

Real Security - Maybe I've just been up for too long or maybe there isn't anything to understand on this point... but I don't get it. It sounds like they're saying a lot of words that don't mean anything.

"Democrats have a plan that is comprehensive-- from repairing our military, to winning the war on terror, to protecting our homeland security, to ensuring success in Iraq and freeing America of its dependence on foreign oil--and it will finally prepare America for the security needs of the 21st Century. And we honor the sacrifices our troops, their families and veterans by making sure we take care of them when they come home.

Democrats are unwavering in our commitment to keep our nation safe. For Democrats, homeland security begins with hometown security. That's why we led the fight to create the Department of Homeland Security and continue to fight to ensure that our ports, nuclear and chemical plants, and other sensitive facilities are secured against attack and support increased funding for our first responders and programs like the COPS program so we keep our communities safe. We want to close the remaining gaps in our security by enacting the 9/11 Commission recommendations."

They say they have a comprehensive plan, but they don't say what that plan is. They say it includes this and this and this, but they don't say how. They do say that they support improving security in the United States, but the rest of that just sounds like a bunch of fancy words that mean absolutely nothing.

Energy Independence - Reduce our dependence on foreign oil, eliminating billions in subsidies for oil and gas companies and use the savings to provide consumer relief and develop energy alternatives, and investing in energy independent technology.

Economic Prosperity and Educational Excellence - Creating jobs that stay in America and restoring opportunity for all Americans, starting with raising the minimum wage, expanding Pell grants and making college tuition tax deductible. They also believe in budget discipline that reduces our deficit.

A Healthcare System that Works for Everyone - Fixing the prescription drug program and investing in stem cell and other medical research as well as making affordable healthcare available for everyone.

Retirement Security - Pension reform, expanding saving incentives and preventing the privatization of social security.

Democrats also boasts plans to protect and preserve the environment; support civil rights, justice, and equal opportunities for all Americans; support for veterans and the military; and reforming the election, making sure the system is fair, accountable, and accurate.

Music Survey

2008-08-09T06:44:00.000-07:00

By request (lol, I'm just using that as an excuse. :P) and just because I like this one, I'm going to do a music survey. Remember if you'd rather look at something else, I have my labels listed on the left, near the top. So, by music survey I mean I'm going to get all of my songs together, put it on random and answer each question with the random song title that pops up. These are really fun to do if you're easily entertained... and what a coincidence, I am! :P I won't keep an instrumental song or something silly, like quotes or anything, lol. I'll tell you what I got, but I'll do another answer, too.

Family

Did I have a happy childhood?:: Insect Kin - Bush
What kind of person was I?:: Stay - Sugarland

Love

Am I in love?:: Hearing Voices - One Republic
If so, what is that person like?:: Holier than Thou - Metallica (lmao)
If not, do I want to be?:: A Steady Decline - After the Burial
How do I feel about love?:: Good Times Bad Times - Godsmack

Life

What was today like?:: DownTempo Piano instrumental... An American Girl - Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers
What are most days like?:: Haha, a techno remix of Better off Alone... I don't that counts. :P I Know a Little - Lynyrd Skynyrd
Whats my life like?:: Believe Me Natalie - The Killers
What is in store for this weekend?:: Clear Waters instrumental... The Promise - Bedlight for Blue Eyes
How is my life going?:: How to Start a Fire - Further Seems Forever
Do I act my age?:: Big Girls Don't Cry - Fergie
What song will be played at my Wedding?:: Walk With Me - Bedlight for Blue Eyes (aww ♥ this is so sweet)
How does the world see me?:: She's Not the Cheating Kind - Brooks and Dunn (haha)
Will I have a happy life?:: Daughter - Pearl Jam
What do my friends really think of me?:: HAHA Holler - Spice Girls (that's kind of awkward, hahaha)
Do people secretly lust after me?:: I Write Sins Not Tragedies - Panic! At the Disco
How can I make myself happy?:: Silver Plated Advocate - Despised Icon
What does my family think of me?:: Now I'm Here - Queen
What should I do with my life?:: I think this a 50 cent song - Best friend? It's a remix or something... Hahaha! Oh no, this one is even worse. December, 1963 (Oh What a Night) - Frankie Vallie and the Four Seasons... oh wow, that's awful. :P
What is my signature dancing song?:: Make Me Believe - Godsmack (yikes... o.0 lol)
What do I think my current theme song is?:: Stand by me - Ben E. King (aww :D)
What does everyone else think my current theme song is?:: hahahaha, Rudolph the Rednose Reindeer - The Temptations... I don't think that counts. :P If You Could Only See - Tonic (ouch, I'm a home wrecker, lol)
What is my life theme song?:: Distant Voices - Bush
What best describes my life?:: Back 2 Good - Matchbox Twenty
What best describes my friends?:: Make it a part - Further seems Forever
What best describes the person I love?:: Fury of the Storm - DragonForce (:P)
Have you had sex?:: HAHA All Around the World - Oasis (lmao)
What describes my worst enemy?:: Californication - Red Hot Chili Peppers
Do I enjoy life?:: Life Is A Highway - Rascall Flatts (:P)
Am I a good person?:: Beautiful World - Coldplay
Do I make others happy?:: Even Flow - Pearl Jam

Presidential Race

2008-08-09T05:39:00.000-07:00

I'm sure all of you know about the presidential candidates by now, this is the biggest race in history, after all. I'm a little late in joining the bandwagon, but late is better than never, right? Or not. Either one works for me. :)

Well, the first big news of the race is that Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton were both competing for the Democratic candidacy. A black guy and woman. We're breaking all kinds of rules this year. ;) (Let me clarify, I'm not being racist or anything, I vote for Obama. But let's be serious... no one says African American and you know it, lol) I'm personally relieved that Hillary did not win, even if I wasn't sold on Obama at the time. I would have moved to Canada if that woman had been president. I believe that the US might be ready for a black president. Hell, they might even be ready for a woman president, but women are certainly not ready to be a US president, lol. Maybe one, somewhere... but not one of my friends, that's for sure. :P I jest, but I definitely don't think Hillary should have been president.

Like I said, Obama won that battle. So the race continues between Barack Obama and John McCain. Well, I wouldn't call it much of a race anymore. More like a slaughter, or maybe a rape. All I know is that they continue to beat a dead horse, know what I mean? McCain lost this election when they re-elected Bush four years ago. Simple as that. There is no possible way that McCain could ever be elected president at this point. Even if the fact that he should change his name to Bush Jr. were moot, he still wouldn't win against Obama. McCain is a total tool. He's an idiot. I watched a bit of one of his speeches a few minutes ago... I was appalled. I wanted to cover my ears and blind myself, better yet, I wanted to blind him. He has to know that he's lost this race. I'll give him props for recognizing the only way that he could win is by convincing everyone that Obama shouldn't win. He's recognized that and that shows that at least he has semi-intelligent advisers. But he's not going to convince people of that. Especially considering how he's trying to do it. I'll show you a couple of his most recent campaign ads.

Now, obviously this guy is a total tool. Yes, those are McCain's ads against Obama... what? What exactly did I miss here? Is the object of this game to get the other guy to win? I guess I missed that memo. But I have to say, Paris Hilton did release a pretty witty comeback to McCain and I can honestly say that I think America would rather elect Paris Hilton as president than John McCain. Yeah, I said it. Well, here's Paris's video.

I thought this was absolutely brilliant. The Crypt Keeper was practically my idol growing up and the whole thing was just too funny. It was also a great popularity move for Paris Hilton. She said something smart (shocking half the world), she defended herself and dissed John McCain, and then she kept a sense of humor about the whole thing and herself. I guarantee people are going to hate her less after this. I hate her less after this, so there's your proof. :P

Next I'll discuss the two positions the candidates are taking, but I'll do that some other time. Catch ya guys later.

random writing/poetry

2008-08-03T03:31:00.000-07:00

Spiteful dreams torture me of late

I dream of being in love

of having love

of making love

I dream of happy days on some distant date

then after seeming hours in that blissful state

my wretched dreams leave me

to wake in this pitiful world, alone

I pray for sad, frightful dreams

so even though you're not with me

I can still look forward to the morning

I pray for sad, frightening dreams

just so I know that waking up without you

is still better than not waking up at all

Sighing the sigh that only lovers sigh

I stroke your tender cheek

the beauty of your face in unparalleled

I have yet to explore your lips or your eyes

running my fingers through your hair

I pull you closer to me

I want to write about love

but how can you put your soul on paper

how can you translate it into words

love deserves more than mortal tongues can speak

more than an artist's brush or a poets pen can conceive

my pain is nothing

my loss is small

my complaint is selfish

compared to all

the wound I have

is not deep

it does not bleed

I do not weep

I turn to you

but you're not there

you were in my mind

you do not care

I can not blame you

you didn't know

I didn't ask

you not to go

Pointless Random Questions

2008-08-03T00:40:00.000-07:00

This is a survey I found online. I hope this will answer any and all questions you might have about me, but if not feel free to shoot me an email or post a comment. :) Oh, and I promise this will be the only survey I post on my blog, lol.

What bill do you hate paying the most? Well, at the moment I don't have any bills (how lucky am I?), but I'd have to say I hate paying the ones that have late fees, lol.

Where's the best place to eat a romantic dinner? On the beach, in the park, or in that restaurant that overlooks the ocean in Newport.

Last time you puked from drinking? Somewhere around February I think. I think I made myself puke on Valentine's Day. I had a ton of champagne and a few cheerleader beers and I never would have been able to sleep.

When is the last time you danced on a bar? I danced on the pong table back in November, lol. But I'm not 21, so we'll have to wait at least another year before I get to my bar dancing stories. :P

Name of your first grade teacher? I don't remember her name, but I do remember that she had dirty blond hair and was slightly overweight. She also drew shadow portraits of us.

What do you really want to be doing right now? Well, considering I'm filling this out, nothing too important, lol. I probably should be sleeping, but where's the fun in that. I also could be doing some more research on the Democratic Party or reading Shakespeare, but I'm feeling a little burnt out intellectually at the moment. I wrote a poem for my dear friend and that exercised my brain into oblivion, lol. And it wasn't even that good. :P

What did you want to be when you were growing up? I never really thought about that kind of stuff when I was growing up. I used to want to be a mad scientist, or a chemist. I also had a brief desire to be a veterinarian, a poet, a writer, and an actress.

How many colleges did you attend? just the South Dakota State University. I plan to add another one to the list next year.

Why did you wear the shirt that you have on right now? Well, to be perfectly honest, it was the first clean shirt that I didn't need to wear a bra with, lol.

GAS PRICES First thought? Obama. I watched one of McCain's campaign ads not too long ago. "Who do we have to thank for rising gas prices? Obama." Please. Obama hasn't even been elected yet. Give it a rest, tool.

If you could visit anywhere and take someone with you? Well, I'd take my closest friends and travel the world. If I could only choose one of each, it'd have to be Scotland or Thailand and Haylea.

First thought when the alarm went off this morning? I don't remember, lol. I turned it off and went back to sleep. :P

Last thought before going to sleep last night? Well, at least the sun isn't up yet.

Favorite style of underwear for the opposite sex? boxer shorts

What errand/chore do you despise? washing dishes or taking out the trash

If you didn't have to work, would you volunteer at an art gallery? probably. I'd probably do other things first, like being in community plays or working with the media like I do now. But I think art is a great thing, so I'd love to spend time in an art gallery.

Get up early or sleep in? get up early!

What is your favorite cartoon character? mulan... or sailor moon, lol. Oh! And I love all the characters in Miyazaki's films.

Are you planning on remaining in your current field? I don't have a current field. But I plan to pursue acting for as long as possible.

Do you see yourself married in the next five years? It seems unlikely, but I suppose five years is a decent amount of time.

Your favorite lunch meat? I don't really like lunch meat. Ham, if I had to pick one, but it's more likely that I just fry up some chicken stir fry.

What do you get every time you go into a WalMart? I'm addicted to chapstick. They always have chapstick in the spontaneous aisle, so I usually get some.

Beach or lake? beach

Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual? No, I just think it's lost meaning to most people.

TV show you miss? sailor moon. I also used to watch Timon and Pumba every morning before school.

Favorite guilty pleasure? Hmm... cinnamon graham crackers and hot chocolate. Or spending hours playing video games.

Favorite movie you wouldn't want anyone to find out about? Hairspray? I don't know. I'm not really bashful about what movies I watch.

What's your drink? water or tea.

Cowboys or Indians? the dallas cowboys ;)

Cops or Robbers? I never used to play these kind of games, but I always tend to be the good guy, so cops I guess.

Do you cheer for the bad guy in a movie? Not unless he's super hot. :P Just kidding. Not usually.

What Hollywood star do you think you resmeble? I don't really look like anyone. Back in my "darker" days people used to tell me that I looked like Avril Lavigne.

If you had to pick one, which cast member of Lost would you be? I haven't watched enough of the recent episodes to know who's still alive or not. :\

What do you want when you are sick? fudgesicles, sprite, soup, and someone to feed me, lol.

Who from high school would you like to run into? Lizzie! I haven't seen her in forever. I finally get to go visit though, so I should see her next week. yay!

What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now? My mom has the radio tuned to her christian station, but I usually listen to cds.

Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back? I don't dwell in the past. Any mistakes I've made are over and done with. Who am I to wish I could change history? If I could change something about the past, I'd rather focus on things that were more horrific than any mistakes I've made in my relationships.

Do you like the person who sits directly across from you at work? I don't have a job at the moment. :)

If you could get away with it, whom would you kill? Nobody, yikes.

What famous person would you like to have dinner with? Dead or Alive? Dead - Marlon Brando. Alive - Shia Labeouf.

What famous person would you like to sleep with? Lol, Shia Labeouf :P

Have you ever had to use a firearm? Had to? No, but I've used one for the hell of it before.

Last book you read? I'm reading the collected works of Shakespeare. Starting with his sonnets.

DO YOU HAVE A TEDDY BEAR? I don't think I have any stuffed bears, but I have a lot of stuffed animals.

Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth? outside.

Somewhere in California you've never been and would like to go? I've never been to Sacramento before, that might be kind of fun.

Number of texts in a day? depends on the day. Today I had a lot, yesterday I had zero.

If you had to choose- would you start a new career or relationship? Hmm... relationship, because I'm not in one right now, lol. But if it were a serious question between a successful career and the person that I loved, I would definitely choose to start a new career.

Favorite Winter Olympic Sport? I don't watch the olympics.

Pencil or pen? I like writing with pencil better, but pen is easier to read afterwards

Ancient Egyptians or Mayans? Egyptians

How many jobs have you had? Um, 6 or 7

Are you where you thought you would be at this age? I never really made any plans like that. I live in Southern California. I'm pursuing an acting career. I'm not married and I don't have any kids. I'd say life is pretty good. :)

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1. How old will you be in 3 years? 23

2. Do you think you'll be married by then? Again, I doubt it. But a lot can happen in that amount of time. I could possibly meet the man of dreams.

3. What do you look forward to most in the next 2 months? Well, today was a whole new turn of events, so as of today, I look forward to getting my car, hanging out with my friends, and getting a job. If things go really well, getting headshots and starting acting classes!

4. Who did you talk to last on the phone? Lizzie

5. Have you ever played a team sport? I played Softball for a little while in middle school, maybe elementary, I can't remember.

6. Who was the last person to text you? christopher

7. Who was the last person you hugged? Kase

8. What were you doing at midnight last night? Either writing a letter or writing about the Democratic Party

9. Parents separated/divorced/married? Still married, although sometimes I wonder if it wouldn't be better for everyone if they just got divorced

10. Last time you saw your dad? a month or two ago

11. What happened at 11:00 a.m. today? I was sleeping

12. How many states have you visited? Oh geez... visited or drove through? 19 visited... I believe. And around 30 altogether.

13. If you could be anywhere right now, where would it be? Hmm... there's a lot of places I'd like to be. Sappy answer - with my soul mate, whoever that may be.

14. Do you prefer shoes, socks, or bare feet? All three are nice. I love socks, but I like bare feet if it's really hot. I also love heels.

15. Are you a social person? If I need to be.

16. What was the last thing you drank? water

17. Favorite ice cream? Pinkberry! It's frozen yogurt, but close enough.

18. What is your favorite dessert? Pinkberry! lol

19. Whats your favorite color? grey, pink, black, purple

20. What Jelly do you put on your PBJ? I hate peanut butter and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

21. Do you like coffee? yeah

22. How many glasses of water a day do you drink on average? depends on how long I'm awake. If I get up in the morning, usually around 12. If I'm lazy then around 5 - 7.

23. What do you drink in the morning? water

24. Would you rather kiss someone with or without a tongue ring? I've only kissed one person with a tongue ring and I liked kissing him better when he took it out.

25. Do you sleep on a certain side of your bed? I sleep on a couch, lol. How on earth could I have a side? :P I don't need a certain side, but I'm the kind of person that likes to hang off the bed when I sleep.

26. Do you know how to play poker? I love poker.

27. Whats so good about Fridays? I don't know... It's all pretty much the same for me.

28. Any plans for this week? filling out and submitting applications, getting ready to go to South Dakota, making some new videos for youtube, beating xenosaga

29. Do you eat out or at home more often? at home

30. How big is your TV? uh... I gave my tv to the boys, but I think this one is a 32" maybe?

31. Ever stolen a street sign? no, but I have stolen a buoy from the river before. :P If anyone is interested in that, ask me and I'll tell you the story.

32. Do you keep a piggy bank? no, but I should. Especially quarters. Parking out here is insane.

33. What kind of camera do you have? a casio

34. Have you ever been in an ambulance? no

35. Do you prefer an ocean or a pool? ocean, even though it tastes like total crap and tries to undress me, lol.

36. Do you prefer a window seat or an aisle seat? window. I hate the aisle seat.

37. Do you know how to drive a stick shift? haylea taught me at one point and my dad has tried teaching me, but I just can not manage in towns. The starting and the stopping and the turning and reverse. Yikes.

38. What is your favorite thing to spend money on? makeup, food, clothes, video games

39. Do you wear any jewelry? depending on my outfit. Sometimes I wear necklaces, sometimes I wear earrings, sometimes I wear rings, sometimes I wear bracelets. Whatever strikes my fancy.

40. Do you speak any other language? I'm pretty decent with Spanish and I'm learning French and Japanese... Trying to anyway.

41. Can you roll your tongue? my tongue is very talented. lol

42. Who is the funniest person you know? probably my brother or christopher

43. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? not usually, just because it's too much of a pain to put it away at night

44. Do you still have clothes from when you were little? no, not really

45. What is the color of your bedroom wall? white

46. Do you shut off the water when you brush your teeth? when I brush my teeth, but not when I wash my face.

48. Are you crushing on someone right now? not really

49. Do you currently hate someone? not really

50. Why do you take surveys? Lol, just for something to do and because I want to post one on my blog.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you want to have "you" time, what do you do? Ohh, what's my game? (shameless plug for theweekendgamer.com, lol) I like to read, play video games, hang around on youtube, learn new things. I like to read mainly science fiction or fantasy novels, but I also read non-fiction books about acting and other things I'm interested in. I also read plays and essays. My favorite video games are RPGs like Zelda and Final Fantasy.

Are you comfortable with answering personal questions? Depends on who asks me. But for the most part, yes.

Have you ever cried and didn't know why? no

When is the last time you were truly happy with your life? truly happy? I'm always happy. :) I may have some things that bother me here and there, but not enough to say that I'm not truly happy.

Have you ever found someone of your same sex sexy? goodness yes. Women are very sexy. It doesn't mean I'm attracted to them though. I think women are sexy, beautiful, and classy, but they don't turn me on. :)

Do you think long distance relationships are ever really worth it? No, especially if you've never met the person in real life. It might be possible if you were with the person and then they moved, but starting out long distance never works.

what did you do at your lowest point in life? cut myself

What brought you away from that? realizing that hurting myself didn't do any good. It was good at the time. I understand the appeal. I felt so dead inside, it felt good to know that I could still feel something and that I could still bleed. I was so lifeless that I couldn't even cry and bleeding seemed to be the next best thing. I suppose I have my ex to thank. He told me he'd never talk to me if I did it again, lol. But even after that I didn't seem to need it anymore. I still don't cry, but now it's because I don't want to, not because I can't.

Have you ever envisioned your own wedding? When I was serious with my ex we'd talk about those things, but I don't when I don't have reason to.

When is the last time you personally made someone else cry? I made my mom cry, but she was being too sensitive. I didn't even say anything mean to her.

The last time you were kissed, where were you? vermillion

Do you eat a healthy diet? I try to. I don't think I eat anything super unhealthy besides the occasional chocolate or pinkberry

What part of your looks are you the most complimented on? lol strangers usually say my eyes or smile, but what they really mean is my butt and it's just innappropriate to say so, lol.

Do you believe exes can really ever be "just friends?" I don't know. I think it depends on who ends the relationship. If it was mutual maybe. I could be friends with my ex, but he may not be able to be friends with me since I ended it. I don't know.

Would you attend each of your ex's funerals? omg, definitely

Would you be able to date someone who had a kid with someone else? yeah, that's no big deal. everyone has a history

When is the last time you were on a vacation? I went to mexico last july. (2007)

Do you make your bed every day? I guess... considering that I don't use bedsheets, lol.

Are you too shy to tell people when you're developing feelings for them? omg, yes, lol. I worry too much about ruining friendships and being denied and all that junk

Do you use the Internet or television more? I never watch tv. definitely the internet.

Have you ever worn black nail polish? not on my whole fingernail. I have black on my nails right now

How much older than you is the oldest person you've kissed? um... 3?

How much younger is the youngest? 1 or 2 years.

What are your plans for your future? get a job, get headshots, take classes, act in theater, get an agent, start acting in film, while learning french, japanese and becoming fluent in Spanish, as well as taking dance lessons. After that, I don't know, lol. Maybe take some college courses and get a degree in something.

Do you want to be in a relationship right now? I don't really know. I don't know of anyone that I would want to be in a relationship with, but I probably wouldn't object if I did like someone. But I don't know if I can like someone right now. I'm not attracted to guys my age or older men at the moment. But I won't dissect the feeling too much because I don't want to start pining for a man, lol.

If you could pack up and leave your life now to move away, would you? no way! I just did that! lol

Have you ever done any acting on stage? yeah, a bit back in South Dakota and I hope to do more.

Do you like being in pictures? some pictures :P it's fun for the most part

Do you cry easily? not at all

Have you ever been more attracted to a significant other's sibling than them? omg, no! I would never continue to be with that person if I were more interested in someone else.

What is the last fun, free activity you did? hm... my mom and I went to the bookstore. That was fun. Oh and we went to the beach not too long ago. :)

Do you enjoy romance? Lol, what girl doesn't? Although I get really shy when people give me things.

Do you tend to fall for people easily? Yes. It's a bad habit. It only happens with some people, but if I get too close too fast then I usually end up taking it one step farther without thinking.

Have you spent more time in your life single, or in a relationship? well, I spent about 5 years off and on with one guy, and I'm 20. So, only 1/4 in a relationship. :) I'd say single, lol.

What person in your family are you the most like? my dad. Quick temper.

Are you quick to start a fight? I never start things, but I don't back down if you piss me off.

Have you ever put anything other than cheese in your grilled cheese? pepperjack cheese? no

What are you studying in school? I'm not in school at the moment. :) I used to study computer programming

Do your parents really know YOU? I suppose minus the fact that I love men and swear like a sailor, for the most part.

Have you ever felt invincible? not really. I've felt super-hero lucky, like if I were shot at a million times, they'd all miss me. But that's not the same as invincible.

How many cars have you owned? starting today, two! :D My baby probe (aka Christine) and my new firebird. I think I'm gonna call her Shelly. She's a redhead... maybe I'll call her Danielle.

Do you get along well with your siblings? yeah, for the most part. We get on each other's nerves sometimes, but we love each other.

Would you rather be cheated with or on? neither. Either way, someone gets hurt, but to be honest I'd be happy with either of them. That way the poor girl that's with the guy that cheated with me will dump him and I don't have to be with the bastard that would cheat on me.

Do you feel like you've got some growing up to do? maybe. Sometimes I feel so old and other times I feel like a kid. I think that's how all adults feel though, so maybe I should slow down a bit.

Do you like to dress up? yeah :D who doesn't like to get a little fancy now and again?

Have you ever loved someone so much...? god, yeah... and it hurts. Sometimes I think I never want to do it again because you die a little everytime your heart gets broken... but then I always realize that life would be pointless if I didn't look forward to that.

Do you own a little black dress? I have a couple little black dresses, but none that I really like.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. Three people who made you smile today? lizzie, haylea, chris, kersi, tane, tyson, sean, krista, tessa, the list goes on, lol.

2. What were you doing at 8 this morning? my god... I don't even know. Dreaming about something, lol.

3. What were you doing 15 minutes ago? eating blueberry pie :P It was actually really sick. I've really started to hate sweet things since I moved out here. That's why I like Pinkberry so much, cause it's not that sweet!

4. What is something that happened to you in 1996? I was 8... nothing good... those were the worst years of my life... I moved to Olympia that year, I believe.

5. What is the last thing you said aloud? yeah... my mom asked me if I could turn out the light when I was finished.

6. How many different things did you drink today? water, peach ice tea, and a root beer.

7. What color is your hairbrush? red and black. I've had it for years! Since middle school I'm sure.

8. What was the last thing you bought? wendys a week or so ago

9. What was the last gift you received for your birthday? hm... my grandparents sent me a card

10. What color is your front door? white

11. Where do you keep your change? in my pockets lol

12. Whats the weather like today? it's always gorgeous here :)

13. What is the best ice-cream flavor? pinkberry!

14. What is something you are excited about? getting my car and visiting my friends

15. When did you last see a rainbow? I don't really remember

16. What size shoe do you wear? 5 to 6

17. Do you have a sister? a few people I call sisters, but none by blood

18. Who are you crushing on? this couch? lol no one really

19. Do you want to cut your hair? kind of... even just to trim it. hair always looks like twenty times better right after it's cut lol

20. Are you over the age of 25? lol not even

21. Do you talk a lot? sometimes. it depends on who I'm with and how hyper I am

22. Do you watch The OC? no, I live there though, lol

23. Does your screen name have an 'x' in it? no

24. Do you know anyone called Steve? I don't think so... lol! I went to facebook to see if I knew anyone named steve and there's this guy we met at an IHOP in Sioux Falls once. We had gone snowboarding a few weeks before then and this guy had practically tried to invite himself into our party and rode down on his snowboard like a sled. He was a total tool, lol. He was a nice guy when we met him at IHOP though. :P I had forgotten about him, that's too funny.

25. Do you make up your own words? lol quite a bit actually.

27. Are you typically a jealous person? no, not at all. there's no point in being jealous

31. What did the last text message you recieved say? Yeah its gonna be fun. Christopher talking about my visit to SoDak

32. Do you chew on your straws? depends on how bored I am. Rule of thumb, if I'm ever on a date with you and I start chewing my straw, you're failing miserably, lol.

33. Do you have curly, frizzy hair? no, it's straight and pretty non-frizzy

34. What is the next concert you're going to? don't know... none planned yet :)

35. Who is the craziest person in your life? woo... hedman I suppose. We're all pretty chill.

36. Who are the coolest people in your life? my friends, yo! Duh, lol.

37. What is the last thing you ate? blueberry pie and it's making me sick :\

38. Have you seen the movie 'Donnie Darko'? Yeah, it's great stuff. Tell me, how exactly does one suck a fuck?

39. Do you have work tomorrow? nope, lol.

40. Is marriage in your future? I hope so.

41. When was the last time you said 'I love you'? the last time I talked to haylea

42. What should you be doing right now? well, considering it's 5 in the morning, sleeping.

43. Do you have a nickname? b, bri, brit, bunny, kitten, and whatever else anyone feels like calling me. The latest edition is BooBerry :P

45. Are you a heavy sleeper? for the most part, but I wake up immediately if someone talks to me. It's very strange.

46. When was the last time you used a skateboard? skateboard? middle school I'm sure. I remember tanner trying to teach me to skateboard at some point.

49. when was the last time you did the dishes, be honest? I washed a few dishes today so I could make dinner.

50. Are you currently depressed? no way. I haven't been depressed in years.

51. When was the last time you cried? um... december? I think

52. Is your hair up? not at the moment

53. Is your phone right beside you? lol, how'd you know? ;)

54. Do you wish you were somewhere else? not really

55. Do you have plans for tonight? go to sleep at some point in time

56. Are you wearing makeup? not at the moment

56. Are you wearing chap stick? nope, it's almost bedtime

57. Are you cold? it's a mixture of really warm and kind of cold, lol

58. Are you bored? not really

59. Are you excited? yeah! it's a little late to be bouncing off the walls, but I probably will be tomorrow

60. Are you watching t.v.? Yuck, no.

61. Are you wearing pajamas? I'm wearing my shorts and shirt that I'll sleep in

62. Who's the last person you IMed? I have IMed in a while. Probably Haylea

63. Who's the last person that called you? Lizzie

Past-

64. Anything you regret? nope

65. Ever stuck gum under a desk? Lol, probably

66. Ever spit at someone? ew, no way. That's just rude

67. Ever kick something living? no!

68. Ever had your nails done? I got them done for my birthday

69. Ever thrown up because you cried so hard? no, sick

70. Had any plans last week? last week? see batman, lol.

71. Who did you hang out with the most last week? my mom

72. Was last week interesting? not really

TODAY

73. Have you gotten mad at someone? no

74. Have you cried? no

75. Have you called more than 3 people? no

76. Have you IMed more than 3 people? no

77. Have you eaten anything gross? blueberry pie

78. First thing you did this morning? checked my email

79. Last thing you ate? blueberry pie

80. What's something you look forward to most in the next 6 weeks? visiting my friends and getting my new car!

81. What's annoying you right now? my arms kind of hurt because of how I'm sitting

82. What's the last movie you saw in theaters and who with? batman in IMAX with my mom

83. Do you believe in long distance relationships? not really

84. Where is the last place you went? to the crab cooker. a great seafood place in newport beach

85. Who is the last person you called? lizzie

86. Been cheated on? yeah, it sucks

87. Do you think that someone is thinking about you right now? doubt it

88. Choose one to have (love, beauty, creativity): love, beauty and creativity both stem from love

89. Do you wish on stars? sometimes, but not usually and not seriously

90. Do you untie your shoes every time you take them off? no, I don't usually wear shoes that I have to tie

91. When did you last cry? december

92. Are you a friendly person? for sure

94. Who's bed did you sleep in last night? mine?

95. What color shirt are you wearing? black and white

96. Do you have any piercings? ears

97. What is the color of your bedsheets? no bedsheets, my blanket is blue

98. What were you doing at 9 last night? finishing up with dinner

99. Last person you talked to? mom

100. Do you like the song A Bay Bay? not at all

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

200: Full name: Brittany Nicole Burnett

199: I was born on: July 15, 1988

198. I am: a girl.

197. My hair is: short.

196. My eye color is: unusual. (grey)

195. My ears are: pierced, but guaged.

194. My ring size is: 4.5.

193. What is your Favorite Color(s): grey and pink

192. My height is: 5'2"

191. I am allergic to: nothing worth noting.

190. I live in: Orange County.

189. The last book I read: was the art of acting by stella adler and it was amazing.

188. My bed time is: when this finished.

187. First Screen name: chicka_alley

186. Current Screen name: chicka_alley

185. Do you remember ICQ: lol yeah, that's old school

184. Do you chat now: not really

183. Do you use the correct keys to type: yeah, I don't like that internet slang crap

182. Do you own a computer: my laptop

181. Mother’s name: Tawnia (pronounced ton-yah)

180. Father’s name: Craig

179. My favorite Holiday is: Christmas, Thanksgiving, Halloween

178. Least favorite Holiday is: columbus day

177. Holiday that shouldn’t be a holiday: everyday should be a holiday

176. Last time I cried was: december

175. Have you ever broken a bone: not sure... never been to the hospital for it

174. What’s bugging you: my arms

173. Fast or Slow: depends

172. Soft or Hard: ha... depends

171. Light or Dark: depends

170. Do your last three responses define your love-making habits? for the most part, lol

169. Theory of Evolution: micro

168. What did you do last night: watched a movie

167. My skin's reaction to the sun is: to tan

I Do (YES)/Do Not (NO) Believe In

166. Easter Bunny: no

165. Karma: I believe people get what they deserve

164. Santa: no

163. Love at First Sight: no

162. Fate: yes

161. God: maybe

160. Aliens: it's hard not to

157. Ghosts: not really

156. Horoscopes: for fun

155. Soul mates: yes

154. Terrorists: how is that debatable? of course

153. Heroes: yes

152. Time Travel: I wish

Firsts:

151. Kiss: jesse

150. Significant Other: jesse

149. Time: jesse

148. Planeride: 10?

147. Teacher: don't remember

146. Job: chikadily's

145. Love: jesse

144. Hate: christine

143. First: first

142. Last: last

141. Girl: emily

140. Boy: jesse was really the first guy friend that was close

139. Divine: my first divine? that makes sense

138. Destiny: fate?

137. Hurt: falling on the gravel driveway

136. Life: haylea's brother

135. Death: my great grandmother

134. Education: oklahoma

133. Boring: don't remember

132. Cute: scooter

Which is Better?

131. Life or Death: are you serious? life

130. Love or Lust: love

129. Hugs or Kisses: depends, kisses

128. Drunk or High: drunk

127. Phone or online: in person

126. Red heads or Brown hair: brown hair

125. Blondes or Brunettes: brown hair

124. Naughty or Nice: both

123. Eyes or smile: smile

122. Summer or Winter: summer

120. Night or Day: night

119. Oranges or Apples: apples

118. Curly or Straight hair: either

What comes to your head ?

117. Beauty: art

116. Scary: men

115. Love: I miss it

114. Parents: pretty cool

113. Short: ha... my hair

112. Tall: sean

111. Pain: worth it

110. School: in the past

109. Family: loved ones

108. Commitment: some day

107. Did something stupid: every day

106. Filled out a survey: why?

105. You got paid: months ago

104. Kissed someone: months ago

103. Missed someone: every day

102. Hugged someone: last weekend

101. Saw someone: last weekend

100. Typed something: last weekend

What happened:

99. 10 Years ago: moved to South Dakota

98. 5 Years ago: started getting involved with church

97. 1 Year ago: broke up with Jesse for the last time

96. 6 months ago: Had a blast with some girls with champagne, chocolate, and fruit for valentines day

95. 3 months ago: just moved to california

94. 1 month ago: turned 20

93. 1 week ago: went to the San Diego Comic-Con

92. 1 hour ago: was doing this survey

91. 1 minute ago: still doing this survey

MISC:

90. Who's the dirtiest person you know?: me, haylea, or chris

89. Who makes you laugh the most?: haylea

88. Who makes you curse the most: me

87. One thing I'm mad about right now: nothing

86. One thing I’m mad at that I shouldn’t be mad at: nothing?

85. One thing you wish you could change about yourself: I kind of have to pee at the moment?

84. The first movie you saw in a theater was: I remember seeing Pocahontas for my 8th birthday

83. The last movie I saw in the theater was: batman

82. The thing/s I don't understand is: how can you have to pee so bad just out of no where

79. The one thing I love about the opposite sex is: they smell so good and they look so damn good without shirts on

78. This summer: is almost over

77. This fall: I'm going to get more on track

76. Something I will really miss when I lived at home: mmk...

75. What are you doing?: this survey

74. Yesterday: was boring

73. Tomorrow: will probably be boring

72. Today: was also boring, lol. just kidding! I got a new car!!

71. Next Week: I'm going to South Dakota

70. The day you were born: july 15 1988...i dont remember what day it was. lol

69. Sixty Nine: 70

68. Voluptuous: for my size

MISC (CONTINUED)

67. People call me: b, bri, brit, bunny

66. The person I’ve been good friends with for the longest: haylea

65. The person I’ve known the shortest: ron

64. The biggest person I know: sean

63. The smallest person I know: tawny

62. The person who knows the most about me is: haylea

61. The person that can read me the best is: probably haylea

60. The most difficult thing to do is: cry

59. I have gotten a speeding ticket: once

58. I have the following siblings: dustin

57. I have the following grandparents: gramps and grandma, granny and papa. Del and Janice, Shirley and Wayne (respectively)

56. My zodiac sign is: cancer

55. I believe in zodiac signs: just for fun

54. I like: pinkberry lol

53. I am tired of typing: my arms kind of hurt

52. I have ___ scars: emotional (lol)

51. I live: in california

50. I take: water?

49. I drive: a firebird now!

48. I have/will get a job at/with: the theater or game store.

47. I can’t: sleep like a normal person.

46. I wish: I didn't have to pee.

45. The best sound in the world: is matchbox 20

44. The person that makes me cry the most: myself

43. I am: me

42. I smell: blueberries

41. I see: my dog and the god damn sun coming up

40. Are you tired of this survey yet: not really. My arms just hurt and I'm tired of not going to bed

39. Prom Theme: cinderella

38. Are you a good dancer: I can turn some people on lol

37. Who’s most likely to read this far? no one

36. Who’s most likely to comment? no one lol

35. Florida or Hawaii: hawaii

34. Canada or Mexico: mexico

33. My favorite piece of clothing is: a pair of shorts

32. My favorite sport is: baseball or boxing

31. First Pet: Reno

30. Last/Current Pet: Quarter and Star

29. First Crush: Scooter

28. Current Crush: no one

27. Last person I got mad at: my mom probably

26. My worst drinking experience was: god probably that night at cattleman's club

25. Best drinking experience: lol suck and blow night

24. The all-time best smell is: lilacs, adidas, ralph, or aqua de gio

23. The all-time best sight is: love

22. The all-time best movie is: stigmata

21. The all-time best thing in the world is: love

20. So, about them Canadians: lol, you tell me, eh?

19. The most annoying thing ever is: judgemental hypocrites

18. The most annoying person you know is: a girl

17. The most annoying sound: is one of my ringtones

16. I hate: having to pee

15. I love: my friends

14. My Favorite Day is: I couldn't care less

13. My Favorite Month is: july

12. My Favorite Band: matchbox 20

11. My Favorite Piece of Jewelry: my ring

10. Temper: short

9. My room: is the living room

8. My favorite actress: sandra bullock

7. My favorite actor is: shia labeouf

6 my pants: are over there

5. My shirt: too low cut

4. My shoes: are dirty

3. Who broke your heart: jesse

2. I filled out 200 questions because: i wanted to

1. Who will repost this: no one

The Dark Knight

2008-08-02T01:23:00.000-07:00

So, this is my first film review... I would tell you to go easy, but I picked a doosy and I'm pretty sure you'll want to crucify me, if not for the quality of my review, at least for the content of my review. But go easy on me. You can't blame me for trying, right? :)

Specs of the film:

The Dark Knight

Release date - July 18, 2008

Runtime - 152 minutes (2 hours, 32 minutes)

Rated PG-13 for violence and some menace

Main Characters:

Bruce Wayne - Christian Bale

The Joker - Heath Ledger

Harvey Dent - Aaron Eckhart

Alfred - Michael Caine

Rachel Dawes - Maggie Gyllenhaal

Gordon - Gary Oldman

Lucius Fox - Morgan Freeman

with a brief appearance of

The Scarecrow - Cillian Murphy (which made me smile... mainly because he's hot)

Review:

Alright guys, so here it is. Now of course, this is all opinion, so don't hate me too much. First of all, let me say, I love Batman. It was entertaining and a great way to spend two and a half hours. On top of that Christian Bale is sufficiently hot in the movie. At one point he wears a leather jacket with a red collar, which brings back fond memories of his involvement with the newspaper business. I'd seize something if he put that red bandana on one more time. Me-ow. Ahem... anywho!

Perhaps I went into the movie expecting too much, perhaps I'm too picky, but for some reason I left the theater feeling slightly robbed. I had heard that this movie was fantastic, 10 out of 10, or at least 9.99. I even saw it in IMAX, which does NOT disappoint, by the way. Now, I'm not saying that the film wasn't great, but it felt like it was lacking something for me. Or maybe it had too much. I can't decide.

The movie could have easily been split into two, or maybe even three with how much information and action was crammed into it. When I first left I felt like there wasn't enough action. Then I got to thinking and there's more than enough, for a normal movie at least. The problem isn't that there wasn't enough action, the problem is that there was too much psychological drama to balance it out. The movie gave you too much to think about so you couldn't be blown away by the visual effects. Then again, maybe I think to much.

In this film we're dealing with Bruce Wayne's psychological battle with Batman, we're dealing with Batman's effect on the citizens of Gotham, we're dealing with Batman's effect on the crime lords of Gotham, we're dealing with Batman's interference in Bruce Wayne's life, we're dealing with romantic issues, we're dealing with psychological issues, people die, people come back to life, people are created, madness ensues, good triumphs over evil, or does it? It's all too much for one film. Add that with a couple bad ass explosions and my brain is about to explode!

The film itself was beyond amazing. The acting was superb. Batman was struggling and Christian Bale portrayed that beautifully. The Joker was insane and my god, Heath Ledger frightened me. I honestly don't think there was much acting involved for Maggie in this scene. I'm pretty sure that the fear would be genuine.

The other actors do wonderfully, as well. I was actually surprised with Aaron Eckhart's performance. I'd only seen him Thank You For Smoking and No Reservations, which didn't exactly blow me away. But he was a great choice for this role and he played a great range of emotions very believably.

Now, I do have to mention that I love the way they portray the joker in this film. It's not that cheesy dipped-in-acid-and-come-out-bleached bit. He's actually wearing grease paint and scars that he's gotten somehow in life are why he's permanently "smiling". It makes much more sense than being dropped in dangerous chemicals. Here's a photo of a scene where he doesn't have the makeup. It never says, for sure, how he gets the scars, but it is much more believable.

My overall opinion of the film is, of course, you must see it. Go see it in IMAX if you can, there are some great scenes that'll just blow your mind. But be prepared to buy it. And once you start watching it at home, feel free to pause it and finish watching it another day. Half is more than enough for one evening. There's even a handy spot that feels like the end, so you don't have to pause at an akward moment. In fact, the only awkward thing about that is that it keeps going.

8 out of 10 just for the spacing of the film.

And Then There Were None

2008-07-14T23:58:00.000-07:00

So, like I said in a different post, I got a new game for the Wii called And Then There Were None. This is a murder mystery type game and it's based on the book by Agatha Christie. Now, to be more truthful, my mother actually bought this game. She's big into the whole "mind" games. I guess she just likes to feel like she's smart or solving something.. I don't know. I don't know why she just doesn't do sudoku, but whatever.

So, I don't really know what to say about this game. I'll give my pure opinion first and then I'll get into a review of it. There was no fighting whatsoever in this game, I'm not sure I liked it too well. It was lacking substance in a lot of places and what you were actually supposed to do at certain parts in the game was simply run around "to waste time." And I'm not even joking. I don't like games where there is no point.

It was challenging in a lot of places and easy in others, and it was even impossible in some places. For example, your character gets poisoned and you have to find the antidote. They tell you that the antidote comes in the form of a cream used for arthritis, so I think maybe it's in an old person's bedroom. Nope... Well, maybe in one of the bathrooms. Nope... Well, maybe the bees have some. What the hell? Yes, you do find the antidote in the apiary on the ground next to a fence. How you're supposed to figure that out, besides plain dumb luck, I have no idea. Yes, it does provide a clue to the end of the story (which is different from the book), but it's totally frustrating and just plain stupid.

(I'm supposed to be sleeping right now, I've got a LONG day ahead of me tomorrow. It's my birthday and I've got a ton of stuff planned, yay!)

Now, the worst part about this game was that the graphics were a flashback to the primortial soup of gaming. It was made for the Wii, one of the most advanced gaming systems, and the graphics look like they belong in a playstation game... the first one. :\ Ok, it's not fair to say that ALL of the graphics suck. The backgrounds are quite lovely, but the characters are blocky and stiff. And it's definitely too much to ask for a little detail. During a dining scene you can hear clinking plates and glasses in the ambiance, but to see food or drink in the glasses is WAY too much work. Here's a screen shot for you.

As you can see, the background is quite nice, but the people are simply ridiculous. Look at the redhead's hair! They can't do better than that?? And if you know anything about the story, the nine little sailor boys are the centerpiece of the dining room table. How ironic.

The general controls of the game are simple. Point and click. The "description" on the pointer changes depending on how you can interact with your surroundings. There are certain times in the game where the controls are difficult, but part of the game is figuring out how to work it. For example, how does one shake the honey off a honeycomb or blow up a life raft or dig a hole or use a manual pump for water, etc, etc.

The storyline is also simple. It's all based around a nursery rhyme. Although, why someone would repeat this rhyme to a child, I haven't the slightest. Nine strangers, 10 counting your character, are gathered on an island. The intended 9 guests are all accused of a supposed crime. The point of the game is to try and find a way off the island before everyone is forced to "pay the piper". The rhyme is fairly gruesome about how nine sailor boys all find ways to off themselves, and each of the characters dies in a way that the rhyme depicts. Choking, oversleeping, being cut in half, etc.

The ending does vary, so it's up to you to decide how many people live or die... or perhaps it's up to one's ineptitude to decide how many people live or die. My overall opinion is this: if you run into it at someone's house or you see it for free, by all means, give it a go, but don't pay more than $5 for it. It's not worth that much.

Update

2008-07-12T01:16:00.000-07:00

Hey folks, so I just wanted to write a blog/update on what's been going on lately. I've been kind of focusing on the layout of my blog instead of the content, so it's high time for another post. I finally got another copy of the Xenosaga game and I almost decided to play that instead, so you guys are lucky. ;) Some jackass is banging on the door to an apartment upstairs... and they're not being quiet about it, that's for sure... it's annoying. Anywho.

Alright, so first of all, I bought another game. Or more truthfully, my mom bought another game. It's Agatha Christie's And Then There Were None for the Wii. It's alright... I'll do a more in-depth review on it in a different post.

I got into trying out new games because xdarthduckiex from youtube (look her up, she's a real cutie and she's not some empty headed bimbo either :P) and I have been talking and she got me started playing World of Warcraft. Yes, you may laugh. Hyuck, hyuck, hyuck, now shut your mouths. :P It's not actually that bad of a game. I have never played it before for a couple of reasons.

The general stigma. I saw a little bumper sticker type thing the other day... Nevermind, I'll just show it to you guys, lol. I think this perfectly demonstrates the general stigma of the game, lol. And it's not really fair. :P I had a good laugh about this, and yes it is true on some levels... I mean, my 40 year old uncle plays it... (But he is married, so I seriously doubt he's a virgin... but I'm certainly not contesting the loser factor, lol. He's embodies a 40 year old hippie in all their hippie glory.) But it really is a fun game.
I don't know if I would still like the game after I got to level 70, since that's the highest level you can get to. I like the kind of games that are building to something. I like the final boss fight, you know? But, I suppose there are raids and improving your character and then you can always make a new character and follow a completely different story, and that would be fun. There are a ton of different story lines that you can follow. You can be a mage, a warrior, etc. and then you can have different jobs, an herablist, a miner, etc. then you can be undead, a troll, a human, a dwarf, etc. So, really you could play it for years just with that.
I haven't ever liked the idea of paying for a game month after month, I think you should only have to pay for a game once, since who knows how long you'll play it. xdarthduckiex did tell me that they have prepaid cards that you can buy, so that actually wouldn't be that bad. You can pay for two months for $29.99, and the regular monthly price is $15, so it's exactly the same, and you can play for two months and then buy another card or take a break from it and all your characters and info will still be there when you decide to play it again. I kind of like that idea.

So, I guess my reasons for not playing it before have all been addressed. I downloaded a 14 day trial (and got side-tracked for 2 hours playing the game and then checking youtube... haha, god I fail at life :P) and it's been a lot of fun so far. There are quests that you do and then of course you level up and learn different jobs and such, so it is pretty time consuming if you get addicted to things like me. And this does count as my official review of WoW so far, lol.

I already have another post in the making about my facial care. I have half a video made for it too, lol. I recorded how to make it, but then I decided that I needed to re-record the talking part, so I still have to do that. :\ I also have a haul video to make. I haven't made a haul video, but it's my first MAC haul and I went nuts, so I just want to talk about it, lol. Now, I'm not starstruck by MAC or anything, but I do honestly think that they have high quality products. There are some things I don't like about some of their products, and I'll be sure to mention that as well. So, there isn't any prejudice in a negative OR a positive way. I will of course be writing a more in-depth review about those products as well.

I have two new makeup videos to make, at least. I'd like to make more as well. But I'm for sure going to do a makeup look for debstan1's zodiac contest and for natneagle's flower inspiration contest. I know it only seems like I'm doing videos for contests... :\ I'm not doing it on purpose, lol, that's just the time that I really get inspired to do a makeup look, you know? Cause I have the topic already thought up for me. I suppose it wouldn't be that hard to think of a makeup look, but I usually wear subdued makeup when I go out, just because I look really young. I think it'd be kind of fun to do SUPER funky makeup, like dolly looks and such, but I don't know if anyone would be interested in seeing those, just because people can't make a lot of use out of them. I think I'll check out that theater makeup book from the library and try to recreate some of the faces out of there, like the african american look and the old lady look and the cat look. Oh, I also need to finish up my cleanser video, so three new videos that I already have planned out then.

Oh, one neat point of interest. I turn 20 in 3 days... yay! I'm excited. My mom is going to take me for a spa day (hair cut, mani and pedi) and she's going to buy me a couple new shirts and she's going to take me out to dinner to the cheesecake factory and then she's going to take me to a movie. I'm soo excited! :D I usually get a lot of cash for my birthday too, so that'll be perfect timing. I spent a lot of money on makeup, but I should get enough cash for my birthday to pay for my photoshoot. I was thinking about it the other day, and I met a person that was 28 and I thought to myself, "they look so young, 28 is almost 30.." and then I thought, "I'll be 28 in 8 years, oh my god... I'm failing at life," lol. Then I though, "wait a minute.... 8 years ago, I was 12. I was 12 FOREVER ago," haha. And yes, I seriously do have like mini conversations with myself, so it happened just like that.

I was on a date once and we were talking and there was kind of an awkward silence, so I was trying to think of something to say. Well, I like to think things through before I say it, which means thinking of his reply. I took it a step further and thought of my reply to his reply and then his reply to mine and so on and so forth and just figured out the whole conversation. And apparently, I'm a riot because I thought one part of "our conversation" was funny and laughed out loud. :P I was actually dumb enough to try and explain what I was laughing at, lol. That's ok though :P he was practically obsessed with me, he wouldn't have cared if I spoke Ubbi dubbi the whole damn night, haha. And it wouldn't have mattered much to me either way cause I wasn't super interested. It was more a friend date for me.

I got a new cookbook and I'll be trying out some new recipes. I think I might make a cooking video or two. It might be kind of fun. There are a ton of new things that I'd like to try. I'll definitely put some more info about it here in my blog. I tried to talk to my mom and see what kind of stuff she wanted to try out this week (I wrote down like 200 recipes, so we have a lot to choose from, lol), but she was being obsessive with that Agatha Christie game and completely took the fun out of it. I dunno, I may have been too hard on her, but whatever. When she just sits there and stares at me waiting till I finish so she can go back to the damn game, it just makes me not even care. So, I told her it'd be just as interesting for me to watch her look through them herself, and it'd probably be more effective anyway, but she flipped out and started crying and all that bullshit. I swear to god, if I have to hear her cry over one more nothing, I'm gonna take sleeping pills. She is the most ridiculous woman... bah. Whatever. I get along with her most of the time, but she's just too damn sensitive.

Anywho, I'm dead tired right now, so I think I'm gonna hit the hay. It's 5:30, so I should probably just stay up. My sleeping schedule is switching back again. I don't know what the deal is. First, I can't sleep until 6 am, then I can't sleep past 7 am, and now I can't sleep until 6 am again. But I like waking up in the morning, so I'll just have to start inducing a trance or something at night to help me sleep. I think focusing like that is what helped me sleep in the first place. It might also be easier if I fold out the couch. :\ But I like waking up in the morning cause I can eat breakfast and I actually wash my face twice a day (it's always hard to wash my face when I get up in the middle of the afternoon cause all I want to do after that is lay around) and I exercise and everything. So, getting up in the morning is definitely something I enjoy. Maybe I'll just set an alarm for 9 and try to get up. Well, I'll do that today, but tonight I'm going to bed by midnight or sooner. Anyway, wish me luck with that. Oh, and if anyone is interested I can make a blog or a video about my exercise routine as well. Peace and love.

♥Ciao

Homemade Beauty Products

2008-06-27T09:41:00.000-07:00

Alright, ladies and gents, it's almost my bedtime. I've been staying up and sleeping in, so I gotta get back on track. I haven't made a post in a while, so I thought I'd update everyone.

First of all, I made a couple new videos on YouTube, so go check them out.

Next I wanted to talk a little about my homemade beauty product endeavor. I got my stuff that I ordered from coastal scents and the stuff that I ordered from Mountain Rose Herbs on the same day, so I was able to get started on everything! I got the stuff on monday and I've been playing around with that for a couple days. First of all, here's a link and a picture for coastal scents and mountain rose herbs.

Alright, so I ordered quite a bit of stuff from coastal scents because I hadn't found the mountain rose herbs website yet. I'll probably continue to buy all of my beauty products (plus more) from mountain rose herbs instead of coastal scents. But I did buy quite a bit of fragrance oils, essential oils, and oils from coastal scents. So! Starting out with the fragrance oils, I bought Apple Extreme, Coconut, Swiss Chocolate, Honeysuckle, Lily of the Valley, and Sweet Pea. All of those are $2.99 for 2 oz. Then I bought some essential oils, 5ml each; cinnamon leaf ($3.99), vanilla blend ($9.95), tea tree ($3.99), Lavender French ($3.99), Peppermint ($3.99), and Ylang ylang ($3.99). A couple notes about those. The vanilla blend is really thick. At first I thought there wasn't anything in it, but if you hold it upside down for awhile some will drip out. I don't know if I got a bad batch or if it's just like that, but it works well enough, so I'm not complaining. I HATE the Ylang Ylang. I always thought it was supposed to smell good, and maybe it's worse because it's so concentrated, but it's awful. I can't stand it. Whenever I smell it, it always smells worse than I remember it smelling. I also got 3 bath bomb molds (60 mm) for $2.99. Then I got around 14 oz of Jojoba oil for $16.45 and 1 lb of vegetable based glycerin oil for $4.49.

Then I got a lot of stuff from Mountain Rose Herbs, too. I got 4 oz of cocoa butter for $4.25. This stuff smells soo amazing. I haven't used it yet, but I could just sit and smell it all day. Then I got some sea salt and epsom salt. One pound and $3.50 each. Now, just to give you a comparison of the prices to coastal scents. 1 lb = $3.50 to 3 lbs = $6.95. So, coastal scents is a little cheaper, but I'm so obsessed with this website, that I don't even care, lol. Plus, I just like it a lot better. The website seems more professional, it's an environment conscious company, and the order was perfect. Everytime that I've gotten a shipment from coastal scents, there's been a problem with it. The shipping with this website is safe, fast, and cheap. Plus, they have a HUGE variety of items. A much bigger variety in oils and such than coastal scents. So, besides all of that, I bought some teas and a new teapot! I got the glass tea pot in the signature style (which reminds me of the genie's lamp on Aladdin) for $16.95. One of the teas that I got is a flowering tea called Evening stars. I'll show you what I mean by flowering tea.

It has a slightly fishy smell when you make it. It tastes more like a campfire to me. A little ashy with some woody flavors. But if you put a little honey in there it sweetens it up perfectly. It actually tastes amazing with a little honey. You can learn to like it plain, just like you can learn to like coffee, but honey eases the taste for sure! That came with 5 buds and you can reuse them 2 to 3 times, so 10 to 15 uses, and it was $9.25. I'm definitely going to buy some more of these. Maybe a different flavor, but the price doesn't bother me at all. I think it's really worth it. You can make your own decision about it, you can see what it looks like, but I'm really into to tea at the moment, so it's worth it for me! I bought another tea, called Dawn Chorus. I haven't tried it yet, but I'll post an update on how it is when I do. But it's on a special right now for 15% off. I got 3 oz for $4.20. I ordered another tea, but it was backordered, so I'll post yet another update when I get that.

So, the first thing I made was an "antiseptic cleansing gel". Well, it doesn't look much like a gel to me. It's very liquidy, maybe I made it wrong, I don't know. I love the product *in theory*, but I haven't used it long enough to tell if I like it in reality. It has all the right ingredients where you would assume that it works perfectly. It uses aloe vera gel, which would help heal any open blemishes. It uses lemon juice, which helps to reduce redness and smooth out discolorations. It uses tea tree oil, which has great healing and cleansing properties for your face. It uses witch hazel, which is a great toner and astringent to just go that extra mile in cleansing. And it uses glycerin, which acts as a cleanser. So, in theory, this is an amazing product. It seems to be working so far, but I've only used it like two and a half days, so time will tell.

Next I made a bath mush, which I haven't used yet. I made some apple pie bath salts, which I also haven't used yet. I made a chocolate body scrub, which works beautifully. It only uses sugar, olive oil, liquid soap, and cocoa powder. The liquid soap is a nice addition because it makes it a lot easier to get it off. Oil doesn't come off with just water, so this almost makes the wash stage obsolete. You could probably just rinse and go with this and it would leave a wonderful chocolate scent... maybe, lol. But the scrub is great, it made my skin really soft. I made a chocolate milk bath, which was nice. It made my skin a little softer, but the scrub worked miracles where the bath only worked wonders, so, it smelled nice, but not necessary. Although something about the bath made my toenails look fantastic, lol.

I started a new hair routine today, it seemed to work great. All that I did was put some honey on my hair while I was sitting in the tub, and then when I turned the shower on to rinse everything off, I just washed my hair with some baby shampoo. It made my hair really soft and shiny and clean. I think I'm going to keep doing that.

I also made a lip scrub with just a little sugar and jojoba oil. Oh, and I decided that instead of buying a makeup remover, I would just use some olive oil. Sure, that may be kind of bad for your skin, but I figure, "hey, my eye area gets dry anyway and I'm just going to wash it off in about three seconds, so no big deal." It seems to be fine so far. My makeup comes off like a dream. So, the nightly routine is as follows. Use olive oil to remove makeup. Cleanse with antiseptic cleansing "gel". Rinse with warm water. Use a mixture of vitamin e oil and tea tree oil as a moisturizer. Use lip scrub until sugar melts away. Apply Burt's Beeswaz chapstick. And I just take off my makeup and cleanse with cotton balls.

So, I'm super tired right now. I'm gonna go to bed and I'll come back and finish this tomorrow. I think I'll go back to some of my older posts and spruce them up a little more with videos and pictures, yay!

Xenosaga: Episode 1

2008-06-26T00:46:00.000-07:00

***Be warned, I'll be reviewing this game as I play it and there will be spoilers to the story. Once I finish the game, I'll write a summary review beneath the specs, but seeing as there is supposedly 80 hours of gameplay, that may take a while since I don't have over 3 full days without sleeping, eating, or going to the bathroom to devote to this game at the moment. As it stands, you can safely read to the next group of astericks (****) without reading any plot spoilers.***

Alright, so I bought this game yesterday and I really enjoy it so far! I said I was going to do some reviews on books, games, and films, so I figured this would be a good place to start. Then I'll see about getting some movies or books done. I might do Baby Mama next, I *adore* that movie. So, first off, I'll just start with the basic specs of the game.

Works on the Playstation 2 console
RPG, or role playing game, meaning you pilot the main character (or in this case, main characters, more on that later) through the game
Like most RPGs, it is only one player
The case boasts over 80 hours of gameplay and four mini-games
It's rated Teen for blood and gore and violence
The animation style is Japanese

Now, I only played it yesterday, so I don't have the best handle on the game yet. I put in about 5 and a half hours of playtime. I'm obsessive and a perfectionist. I like to explore every nook and cranny of a game when I play it the first time through, so I've really only made it to the second stage so far.

I enjoy the battle style, it's fairly complex. I wouldn't recommend this game for very young children. It took me a while to get it down, and I'm still not even sure I'm aware of all the little tips and tricks. It's a very detailed game, which I really enjoy. You can only have 3 members in your battle party which you have to decide before you enter the fight. You can't change companies in the middle. It doesn't matter how many people you have in reserve, if the characters on the battlefield all die, then the game is over and you better hope you saved it recently.

You can employ different tactics while fighting. Magic, or as it's called in this game, ether; items, which is basically where you can just take any items from your inventory that are for medicinal or battle purposes and use them in place of your turn; moving positions; A.G.W.S., which is an automated robotsuit that you can use to improve your attack power and resistance to attacks, more on these later; and the last one besides basic attacks is guard.

Guard actually has quite a few uses in this game. A character can use guard to reduce the amount of damage received from a specific attack. Sometimes the enemy will skip a turn to prepare for it's next attack and it announces this. It might be a good idea to heal your characters with one person, preferably the one in the back, which takes the least damage, and have the others use guard. Also, if you're saving energy to do a high powered attack, you can use guard. Guard saves two Attack Power (AP) points, whereas using an item saves one. Also, you can choose to end your turn early to save points, but unless you're fighting weaker enemies and you only need one hit to kill one, I would not suggest doing this. You may knock off 20 some Hit Points (HP), but you also leave yourself wide open for an attack.

Ether is very useful, as well. It took me a little while to fully understand the system. It's not as in-depth as the skill grid on Final Fantasy XII, but it does have a similar system. You must upgrade one ether skill in order to get to the next, and you can not see what skills are available until you have the means to upgrade to that skill. But these are your basic magic skills. Protect, magic protect, heal, heal all, slight heal, sleep, etc etc. These do of course use Ether Power (EP), so you have to keep an eye on your gauge and the amount of EP used in each skill.

The items I've run in to so far are mainly for medicinal purposes. Raising HP or EP, mainly. Other items can be used for revival, escaping a battle, removing poison, removing ether effects, and so on and so forth. Like I said before, using items only uses 3 AP (out of the given 4 per turn), so if you use an item twice you'll have saved enough AP to perform a special high powered attack, which I'll explain a little more later on.

Moving positions is can actually be a fairly useful thing. As I've already mentioned. The back row receives the least amount of damage from attacks aimed at all party members and cannot be reached for singular attacks. This is a good spot for the designated ether user or perhaps just someone that you'd like to keep alive so they can benefit from the experience points at the end of the battle. The only negative thing about the back row is that you cannot perform normal attacks. The only thing that can perform non-etheral attacks are the A.G.W.S.

The A.G.W.S (Anti-Gnosis Weapon System) is a robot-like shell that you can pilot during a battle. To equip and remove the A.G.W.S takes one full turn (each, two turns total), but it is worth it. The A.G.W.S has a much higher attack and defense power. The A.G.W.S has it's own HP, and if you run out of HP while you're inside the A.G.W.S you cannot be revived. You also cannot use or benefit from items or ether while you're equiping the A.G.W.S. All "repairs" must be made before the battle begins. You only get one attack per turn and with an A.G.W.S you aren't allowed to use a high powered attack unless you have equiped the same weapon on both hands. I haven't done this yet, so I won't talk about it.

Now for the basic attacks. You get two attacks per turn. The attacks do the same amount of damage, so it's nothing special. The level I'm at right now does about 50 damage per hit, so that's a total of 100 per turn. (Excluding Kos-Mos. Kos-Mos does about 150 per turn.) You're given 4 bars of AP at the beginning of each turn. If you save 2 bars of AP, so that you have 6 in total, you can perform a special, high powered attack, or a tech attack as they're called in the game. Sometimes these attacks aren't anything special, sometimes they are. It all depends on who's using the attack and what they're using the attack on. For example, Shion was fighting a robot, her normal attacks were 50 each, and her tech attack was 60. Kos-Mos was fighting a boss, her normal attacks were 80 and her tech attack was 190. It all varies. Also, you have two different types of attacks (including tech attacks). Close range attacks and long range attacks. All of the long range attacks that I've seen so far have been electrical attacks as well. Which work especially well on electrical enemies.

There are mini-games. I've only come across two of them so far. One is basically a search and destroy type game. There are 18 red doors hidden throughout the game, and the keys are hidden somewhere else. The game is to find the doors and then find the keys, or possibly vice-a-versa. Inside the doors are usually just a corridor with something useful at the end. The second is a card game, which I forgot about and haven't really checked it out yet. So, more on that later.

***Storyline***

After an intro of sorts, the game starts with the character Shion Uzuki getting ready to dive into a simulation, this is where you learn all the techniques in a non-battle area. There is no possible chance of death until you request to switch to battle mode. Now, this simulation is where you're first introduced to KOS-MOS.

Kos-mos is an abbreviation for a long name that I can't remember. Basically, Kos-Mos is a super hot android that is wicked strong and can kill just about anything, unless you're controlling her that is. She can die in battle, so don't get cocky. She does have the strongest attack and takes the least damage from a hit in the beginning group, though.

***Also, let my mistakes serve as a warning for everyone else. Never buy used games. I just spent like 3 hours trying to beat this stupid boss and now the damn thing won't load, so even if I restart the fucker it'll just go back to before the boss and then it'll probably skip in the same damn spot. Urgh, I'm so mad right now. Anywho, on with the review.***

After you fight the boss in the simulation, you get to spend some time running around the area. You find that you're on a ship called the Woglinde and there's quite a bit of stuff to explore. Once you're finished exploring you make your way up to the bridge and make a report. All the while there's video clips of the commander talking with someone else, it doesn't really explain anything, but it lays the foundation for a it-all-makes-sense-now kind of moment. Once you give your report, you make your way back to your room and fall asleep.

At this point, the game decides to go into a bit of a movie sequence, which is nice if you're trying to eat something and haven't managed to pull away from the game long enough to take a bit, lol. It explains a few things and then it leads to an attack. The attacking party is an enemy called Gnosis. They're a species, it's not a specific person or anything, but I'm not really sure I understand them. From what I get so far, they're a spirit type entity. You can't defeat them unless they're made real, which is where Kos-Mos comes in. She brings them into reality with something called the Hilbert Effect.

Introduction

2008-06-20T06:02:00.000-07:00

Alright, so I started a blog with LiveJournal.com, but I decided that I didn't like that one very well. I was just going to copy and paste my first few blogs from that one, but I decided not to. With something new, you should always start fresh. So, here we go. I'll do a quick introduction for myself, even though there's a little bit of an intro on my profile. Also, if you have any questions for me, feel free to let me know. I'll be happy to answer any questions you might have.

So, starting at the beginning, I was born in Tulsa, Oklahoma. But I don't consider Oklahoma my home. This is the reason I call myself a gypsy. (Romani = Gypsy, in case you didn't know.) I don't really consider any specific place home, unless I'm happy there. Where ever I currently live and feel comfortable living is where I call home. This is really nice because that means I'm fortunate enough to have a couple homes. I never have to feel homesick when I go anywhere, because if I'm happy, I AM home. If I had to choose one specific place though, I'd choose Washington state. I moved there when I was about six and we stayed there until I was ten. I consider this my most impressionable time, so that's where I feel that my life was changed the most. After that, we moved to South Dakota and I stayed until I graduated high school, I moved in with my boyfriend at the time, and then I went to a semester of college. That brings you up to date, where I currently live in California. We moved around a lot because of my mom's job. She's a computer programmer, but she works by contract. So, once her contract expires, her employer has the option to extend her contract or send her packing.

I spent the most time in South Dakota, but for most of the time I was there, I hated it. I don't really consider that place my home. I do consider that place to be the home of some of my best friends though. The last 6 months I lived there, I managed to meet some really great people and I became close with a lot of people I hadn't known before. In high school, I used to be a bit shy. I was very independent and I'd spend a lot of my time in the library reading, or at home (more than likely reading, lol), so people really didn't spend a lot of time trying to get to know me. Besides that, I was an "outsider" and people in South Dakota aren't very accepting. I did date one guy for probably about 5 years total, off and on. He was the one I moved in with. We were happy a lot of times, but we weren't meant to be together and that lead to a lot of heartache for both of us. I moved to Washington in 2007, because I was unhappy in South Dakota and I thought moving there would make things better. When I got there I realized that it wasn't the location, it was my life. I was simply unhappy with my boyfriend, my job, and where my life was headed. I broke up with him, moved back to go to school, and I feel that I grew up in a lot of ways.

When I moved back, there was a lot of stuff that happened in the span of six months. More than you could imagine, but even though a lot of it was a mistake, it helped me realize the important things. Like the fact that I can be as independent as I want, but that doesn't mean I have to cut myself off from the world. Friends are a blessing that I missed out in the beginning years. I was hurt in the past in a lot of ways, and I just didn't like people. But people try to be good, at least to your face, and that can really help when you need it. I learned a lot of other things, like booze and I don't really mix, lol... at least if there's a guy in the vicinity. I tend to loose all dignity and reserve. But even the mistakes were fun. It gave me a lot of memories. For example, one time I went streaking in a freezing cold corn field and got bruises and cuts all on my feet and then I was drunk, so I totally biffed it and skinned up my knees and hands, lol. But that's nice, you know? You lose the ability to do stuff like that when you get older. You do that when you're young, before you realize you look like a jackass, lol. But really, you don't realize what you're missing out on when you stop. It's so... freeing to just run around and act like you don't care what people think.

I do that a lot. I pretend that I don't care what people think of me. I think sometimes I forget that I'm just pretending, too. :P But it's a good thing, because people admire someone that can really be themselves. A lot of people think I'm brave and fearless just because I don't let other people influence me or get me down. They also think I'm brave and fearless because I don't let the thought of failure stop me from doing anything. A lot of people were amazed when I moved out here. I decided I wanted to move the weekend before I left. I just packed everything up and went. People don't understand that moving away from your friends and family isn't the end of the world. With technology, your friends are only a phone call or mouse-click away. And besides, you can always go back to where you started. A lot of people come to me for advice, and I think that's the reason why. I realize that nothing is permanent and nothing is as "life or death" as we pretend it is, and other people take that for wisdom. But seriously, the girl you want to get into bed isn't going to matter ten years down the road, and if she does, then it doesn't matter what you do now anyway.

Ten years down the road is always what people try to think about. Even though they pretend it doesn't matter, long term is always on people's minds. I always try to think about the here and the now. I don't get distracted by something that doesn't matter yet. Ten years from now will matter ten years from now. And yes, what you do today will shape your circumstances in the future, it's today that you have to think about. But that's my philosophy on things. Take it or leave it. Everyone deals with life in their own way, and this just happens to be what works for me and I try to take it in to my everyday life.

My everyday life is what I'll be talking about in this blog. Like I said on my profile, I moved to Southern California to pursue a career in entertainment. I'd like to be an actress. So, I'll be blogging about the things that I learn. Hopefully, I'll learn new ways to apply makeup, which is useful in auditions and just plain useful. Public appearance is always something that people don't understand. If I can learn something about that down here, then by god, I'll share it, lol. I'll share things on voice technique. Voice is a big part of acting, whether it be singing or just acting, you can convey a lot with your voice. So, I'll blog about certain techniques that I'll learn and little life tips to improve your voice, like don't drink carbonated drinks and such. I'll also be taking classes on acting technique, so I'll share what I learn from that as well. And maybe I'll throw in some Spanish, French, and Japanese. I love learning foreign languages and speaking other languages is always useful. I plan to study dance and other forms of movement, such as martial arts and exercise. I'll share information on that as well. I'll also keep everyone updated on the type of diet that I pursue and the type of exercise that I do. I'm going to study programming languages. C ++ and Java, specifically. My mom is a computer programmer, like I said, and she'll be learning new languages, so I'll help her out with that, since that's an interest of mine as well. I'll also be making my own beauty supplies, such as bath bombs, bath salts, cleansers, soaps, moisturizers, masks, and etc. so of course I'll share the recipes and tips on those as well. And all of this will correspond with YouTube videos that I'll be making, so you can watch and read what I have to say.

But I have a lot to catch up on. So, I'll continue that in another post since it's no longer the introduction. Thank you all for taking the time to read this and I hope you stay tuned. There's a lot more coming up.